On a local Maxima :( :) ?

I don't know but somethings in life now don't bring the same happiness they used to carry before. Have I become hungry for more or has the experience of experiencing all these things an ad infinitum times led to all this?

Recently I finished my VII Sem end terms. The exams saw a vitriolic outburst criticising the teachers, not for not teaching us well (that has always been the case) but for not teaching at all.

If the Sem's end was not much of an occasion to celebrate, a full month's holiday (December) was also not enough for a cock-a-hoop. My inner self trying really hard to make me believe I had achieved enough and need to enjoy, but thinking of the CAT exam after 2 days the idea was rejected as a cockamamie.


After spending so many insomniac nights preparing for the end terms, sleep has not remained the way it used to be....so sweet...and enjoyable.
Now its always accompanied by a lot of dreams. I dont know if its a kind of illness or mere mental fatigue.After just waking up I feel as if under the effect of psychedelic drugs.

Sudden spasmodic interests in a whole lot of eclectic fields seems to be more adventurous, melodramic and satisfying than just enjoying the solitude or playing. I want to be a jack of all trades and a master of some.

I have become a kind of a paranoid. I imagine myself as a person running on a highway with thousand others and afraid of slowing down for the fear of being overrun. The story "Slow and Steady wins the race" seems ridiculous. The rabbit in the story sleeps for some time and the tortoise takes the advantage of that to go ahead and win. But nowadays no one likes to sleep or take rest. I don't know what the human race has come to and where does it intend to go. A person on my class is never seen doing anything else than writing some scary code or reading some esoteric research papers like newspapers. The word content doesn't exist in his dictionary.

Nowadays no matter what I achieve I always feel like on a LOCAL MAXIMA with a lot of steep hill climbing still remaining to reach the maximum.
The Mount Everest (the global maxima) is still invisible.

From the last so many vacations I have been reducing the time I spend with my family and I am not an exception (not even in the home bunking list of top 10 or 20).
The present century sons have become the proverbial "PARAYA DHAN" (DHAN taken away by the companies), leaving the homes even before the age the daughters marry!
Every time I go home, the joy in my mother's eyes suggests how long has she waited to just see me. And by the time I leave her gloomy eyes suggest that she's crying from within...she knows that now she won't be able to see her son for 'don't know how many' months. I just feel disgusted with myself and feel like crying myself out. But is there a solution?